i love him
more every day
as i curled up behind him this morning
and wrapped my arms around him to protect him
~ from what i do not know ~
maybe from reality crashing in and pulling me away again
~ as temporary as that is ~
i watched him sleep.
he is so beautiful when he sleeps.
my head was full of things i wanted to whisper in his ear
"i love you"
"i like you and that means so much to me."
"thank you for being so amazingly beautiful"
"thank you for being so wonderfully understanding"
"thank you for simply being . . . you"
"every moment,
second
minute,
hour,
day,
with you
is among the best in my life."
"i love you so much i feel as if i could burst,
at any moment,
and set the whole world on fire."
but i brushed his hair back instead
and kissed his head
and wished i could find a way to explain to him that it doesn't matter.
i'll never hold him down or hold him back.
i'll give him anything and everything i can.
i'll ask for only what i need.
i'll hold him loosely like spun sugar
and cherish him always.
i'll never try to force him to stay or be anything or anyone he isn't.
i couldn't ever try to hurt him
i won't take him for granted.
any of these things would hurt me too much.
i understand and appreciate that what i have in my arms
is more than i could ever have asked for
he is far better than any dream.