i dropped off my little girl and on the way home, i was overwhelmed
by a sudden acute sense of loneliness and hurt

i felt the prickle behind my eyelids
followed by the slow spreading burn
and the prism effect glossed over the world
making it both softer and sharper -
vividly bright yet slightly blurred.

i blinked and looked away.

i changed the song on the radio to a fast and carefree rocker
he was living life on the run and having fun

it only made the sudden emptiness more pronounced and painful

the longing for a friend i could call welled up and threatened to flood
and carry me away on the tide
sucked into the undertow of emotion.

i tried to sing out loud
as fast and hard
and with all the emotion
but my throat clenched tight
i couldn't swallow.

i imagined my sarah here,
with me
dancing wildly to my carefree rock song
with me
laughing and singing
with me

i could almost feel her hug
and smell her hair
i wanted to see her
hear her
have her here . . .

i got home to find a short message
that had been sent in the 2 hours that i was gone

sarah missed me, too