i�m still alive
so far i�m winning because
i�m still alive


my day may be
the worst in years
but i am still winning
if i get through it
to the other side
and look back at it
because so far i�m winning:
i�m still alive


i laugh.
at everything.
all the time.
i laugh at the worst moments
when i should cry out
in pain or agony.
i laugh and confuse
when i should be afraid.
i frantically search my mind
to find a reason
and drive the bad away
with a joyful bray
because so far i�m winning:
i�m still alive.


sometimes i hurt so bad
the laugh it chokes
the tears they burn
perched on the edge of my lashes
waiting to overflow
to track their salty paths
down my face
i pull in a breath
and prepare for the
hot tidal wave of anguish
to wash away the detritus of emotions
to scald my nerves clean
but my tears are frightened
and refuse to jump
the forest floor of my heart
is thick with leaves
and the whispery rustle
of my chuckle signifies
another fall
and another layer
settling on the last.


and lately, baby,
i don�t feel your boots
as you stomp through the trees.


and so far i�m winning because
i�m still alive