i am confused and torn
i don't want to date or be involved with anyone
but i dream of having a paired happiness and contentment
of having someone there, all night, to hold me
of having a mind to talk to and know it's not mine
of having inside jokes to laugh at
and a heart to protect and cherish
i know the whole mess of relationships scares me
i know i fear giving up my freedom
i know i fear lies and cheating
i know i fear the loss of the relationship.
i know fear.
there have been chances and choices
and each time, tempted as i may be, i pass
to the point of tears and self loathing
but i can't take what is not mine.
it's in the rules~ right here! ~
it says, "do as you would be done by."
it has never been easy
but i knew what i had to do.
this time i just don't know if i can.
if a person was ever tailor-made to attract all of me . . .
well . . . i think i just met that one.
and i know fear.
and i know confusion.
and it is touched with elation.